I went to Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple in the middle of Little India today. It was just a walking distance from the HDB I am staying for the past three months.
I usually come to this temple with Amma whenever she comes for a visit, but I can’t remember the last time I went there by myself before today.
The Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple was crowded; people were everywhere, talking to the Gods, wearing colourful dresses, and doing this. Some were praying, sitting, looking at others, eating, meditating, singing, being blessed, walking, kneeling, whispering their wishes to Gods and Goddesses, and teaching their kids how to pray properly.
I hardly fit in with all these temple rituals and traditions. I am not even sure I know how to pray properly. Heck, I wore jeans and a T-shirt and carried a gym bag even though I never stepped into a gym ever in my life.
I looked like I was completely out of place.
But my heart was heavy, it has been heavy for days, for weeks – felt like forever. And I couldn’t think of any other place to go to than the temple. This temple. Sri Veeramakaliamman Temple.
Something happened when I finally ground myself; when I closed my eyes and prayed. I said my grace, problems, and sorry, my heartfelt much lighter.
After sitting for some time, I bowed a few times in front of the temple and left. Stepping out felt like I breathed in the air for the first time after being inside water for the longest time.
I got a text from a friend when I typed this blog post; it seems fitting to be shared here:
“There is a time we knock down with everything, we disappointed by ourselves of our inability, incapableness, failure, and emptiness. Just please don’t give up yet. About being empty inside. We’ll try to come up with something. Just pull yourself together first. Let’s chat tomorrow again, yea… Hmm, just received your SMS about prayer”.
EAS
I don’t know whether I managed to pull myself together, or if this is just a temporary thing, but I am glad I went to the temple today, And more than that, I am glad the temple will always be there for me.
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