On Eating Less in My Hometown

Lately, I have been wondering, “Am I eating less in my hometown?”

This sentence is hard to admit on paper/internet/out loud/publicly.

It started with a sentence that was told haphazardly by a friend.

At first, I was like, “What is she on about?” We were discussing our shared hometown and the food we missed from there.

But then her unwelcome observation grew on me, especially when I struggled to eat more than I wanted when I was back in Jakarta recently.

I also remember standing before the most elaborate Diwali spread at my cousin’s house, wanting to eat everything. I promised her I would come circling the dining table for many rounds, only to stop after eating one and a half servings.

There is a saying in Bahasa, “lebih besar mata dari perut,”—which translates as The eyes are bigger than my stomach. , a phrase my parents used to tease me when I was much younger (and thinner). It essentially means that we want to eat more than we can handle.

Is that the case? If only it were that easy. On some bad days, I can eat more so-so food in Melbourne than back home in one sitting. And why is that? And why not while in Jakarta?

Is it because I am generally happier while on vacation —in Jakarta? Therefore, I don’t need to eat for comfort; I eat to reminisce, to celebrate.

Is it because I don’t burn as much energy since I don’t lift a finger when I’m home (it’s all “Ammaaaaaaaaaa” this and “Ammaaaaaaaaaa” that), therefore, I don’t feel hungry as much?

Or worse, the one I dreaded the most, is it because my taste bud has changed and adapted to the Aussie food (oh lord, let it not be it) that even though my heart wants it because of memory and whatnot, it’s was not the same case for the taste buds.

Nah, scratch that last-page paragraph. That’s a cray-cray talk.

My last hypothesis, the one I’m going to share with my friend, is that what if, while in our hometown, we eat constantly and continuously; it’s just we don’t notice it because we are having fun. Because even now, I know the weighing machine waiting for me in our bathroom in Melbourne will remind me that actually, my stomach is, after all, bigger than my eyes and memory.

I like this hypothesis because, until today, I regret not taking another serving at that Diwali party.

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